realizing that “when you turn your face to the sun, the shadows fall behind you.”
Happy 17th birthday, my dearest son.
After all we went through this year, after all the tears and gut-wrenching pain, we made it. Your smile-even just a hint of it- is the light at the end of our dark tunnel.
Stay happy and well always.
We love you, Alphonse.
.
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” — Albert Schweitzer
I was watching an old episode of Oprah today, the one where the Smith family (Will Smith’s) was promoting The Karate Kid remake. Something Will said struck me as important, “Greatnes lies at the brink of destruction,” and somehow I understood what it is he meant. I’ve been trying to draw something positive from our family’s recent experiences and that seemed to me to be most appropriate. We have faced our worst fears and have come out of this scathed and scarred, but alive; we are still standing.
I have to make a conscious effort to change my mindset these days. I have been struggling with my feelings since this all began, trying to remain optimistic and constructive, but often with less than successful results.
Today, however, I will choose to live in a space of thankfulness. Today, I will fight to shed the cloak of fear that envelopes my being. Today, I resolve to start living again.
Working on this, I start by sharing this wonderful picture of my son Alex. This just about makes my heart burst with pride and happiness.
Doesn’t he look adorable? (Okay. Give this Momma some love and you all agree with me on this one.)
Alex will graduate from high school this coming Sunday afternoon. We are very happy parents to see him through this important milestone. A couple more months and he is off to college. Time is passing swiftly, indeed.
And because I choose today to be a happy day, allow me to use this time to pause and reflect on the blessings we have received throughout our family’s ordeal. The truth is, we are a family unused to kindness from others. Perhaps because we have had little of it in the time since Alphonse’s diagnosis that unexpected gestures of kindness floor us. As friends and family moved away or removed us from their lives- some by happenstance, many by choice- we learned to sublimate the pain that comes with rejection and instead, replace this grief with self-reliance and independence. We learned to harden our resolve and simply do what needs to be done, with as little bother to anyone as possible.
As such, this surprising outpouring of love and support has overwhelmed us completely. That these are done without expectations of reciprocity amaze us; that many are people who are not related to us in any way astounds us even more. I think if there is any doubt that God exists at all, it is easily dispelled by the kindness of the human heart. Only Someone divine and infallible can create Love.
To Patricia- for all our messages of advice and support and for your genuine friendship,
To Lyra- for your open heart and your generous spirit, for the smiles and happy tears your kindness has sprinkled our lives with,
To Dang and Tiff- for your visit which proved to be a balm to my soul,
To Pilar- for your thoughtful gesture and your reassurance of kinship ,
To Chat, Rams, Aileen, Lissa, Ronnie, Melyn, Mei, Ron, and Auden - for your messages of support and friendship, for your constant prayers, for your presence in our lives,
To my blog, SF forum, and FB friends- Leirs, Lori, Sarah, Pei, Tanja, Eric, Candy- for thinking of us often with kindness and concern,
To Teacher Rod and Teachers Paolo, Wilson, Mark and Jom- for coming to our aid in our time of need, for working with Alphonse patiently day in and day out amidst his troubles,
To my 4B family- Ms.Joy Sacluti (Alex’s adviser), Malu, Carina, Sally, Joville, Cecille - and all of Alex’s teachers at the Ateneo- for helping Alex cope especially in the last few months of school (Alex could not have made it through these difficult months without your love and patience), for your prayers and words of encouragement,
To Mommy. Daddy, and Jas- for the home cooked meals, for the free babysitting whenever we needed respite, for simply always being there,
Thank you for standing with us in these difficult times. There is a long way to go yet but your kindness and love have helped us immensely in this journey of healing. God bless you all.
Today, when I woke up, the last lines of the “Apostles’ Creed” were still on my mind. I often pray the rosary to sleep, and of all the prayers, the “Apostles’ Creed” is the one that comforts me most. For me, it is a prayer of affirmation of all the things I believe in. By virtue of saying ”I believe,” I profess my faith actively. And although “The Lord’s Prayer” is powerfully majestic and the ”Hail Mary” serene and graceful, I love the “Apostles’ Creed” because it represents a choice I willingly make each day.
As we prepare for the last few days of Advent, it is easy to be overwhelmed by the commercialism and materialism of the season. What is Christmas without gift giving? What is the holidays without festivity? What is celebration without party cheer? Too often, we get caught up in the indulgences of the season and forget the real reasons we celebrate. I was reminded of this by this beautiful message that has certainly gone around the world many, many times. It is a timely reminder of why we rejoice in this Season of Christ’s birth. Truly, this is a season for gratitude and love.
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, ‘ This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, “This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.” I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. “This is the Acknowledgment Section, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed.” How is it that there is no work going on here? ‘ I asked.
“So sad,” the angel sighed. “After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments”
“How does one acknowledge God’s blessings?”I asked.
“Simple,” the angel answered. “Just say, Thank You, Lord.”
“What blessings should they acknowledge?” I asked.
“If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world ‘ s wealthy. “
“And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.”
“If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .. You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. “
“If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. You are ahead of 700 million people in the world..”
“If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.”
“If your parents are still alive and still married …you are very rare.”
“If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you’re unique to all those in doubt and despair…….”
Ok, what now? How can I start? If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all. Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you care to, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are
ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
“Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom to share it. “
If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, please share this message.
I thank God for everything, especially all my family and friends.
For 28 years of Friendship and 19 years of Marriage, each year filled with Love,
For Sons who fill our home with Life and Laughter, with Song and Joyful Shouts,
For Family who keep us afloat when life brings us down,
For Friends, old and new, who have kept us in mind and in heart through the years,
For a Home that shelters us through heat or rain,
For Work that fulfills and provides,
For good Health that’s worth more than all the world’s wealth,
For God whose merciful grace has given us Peace and Forgiveness,
I am forever grateful.
One of the best things about having friends is that you get first dibs on any news related to your shared interest. Take my Sylvanian Families friends J, Kit, and Harriet. These three are my lifelines in the local SF world, as I am, hopefully, to theirs. As soon as any of us gets news of arrivals in the city (via confirmed visual sightings or through local contacts in the SF sales world), the text brigade is activated instantaneously and a flurry of messages gets passed among ourselves. Often, they take it a step further by posting pictures and prices, as Kit did here, and as J (aka moodswings) did here.
Last week was a particulary busy week as far as SF fans were concerned. We could not believe the sudden downpour of arrivals in toy shops all over the city. We had been praying fervently for new items and when they finally came, we were all beside ourselves with joy and excitement, and yes, even the accompanying frustration of not having bottomless pockets. With Kit’s and J’s guides, however, we were able to make our individual lists for our budgets and will hopefully be able to stick to them without getting ourselves into debt. (Crossing my fingers!)
I do have some new items which I have not posted yet. 
Early last month, I received a package from London’s Sylvanian Shop courtesy of my friend Tanja. I was so pleased to receive the Delightful Doughnut Set and a Home Interior Lights Set. I will add them to the courtyard restaurant, a sweet addition to the various fares offered by the Chocolate Rabbit Family. Thank you so much, dear Tanja, for this lovely gift!
Later in the month, another package came in the mail, this time a late anniversary gift (another anniversary!!!) from my husband. It was the cake shop I’ve been watching at eBay but which A got much, much cheaper from another site. He also threw in the cake display stand for good measure.
I am most happy with these gifts because the Keats, my favorite Sylvanian family, are bakers. (See their family description below.) My husband got me the baker and patisserie maid outfits last Christmas, and together, they complete the set. Happy, happy!!!
Father, Rossetti Longfellow Keats, his delicate puff pastry is a special treat. The Pastry Chef extraordinaire, he fills the kitchen with panache and flair. They say he’s a poet with flour and yeast, because those chocolate dainties are a feast. Mother, Bronte Keats runs the Patisserie like clockwork, hard graft she’s never known to shirk! Efficient she is in every way, she even has time to chat and play. To all her customers she is a friend, to all their whims she does attend.
Brother, T S Eliot Keats, a name no one beats. The longest name of all, a real mouthful to recall. So Bronte has shortened it a lot, from Tennyson Swift to TS Eliot. Sister, Shelley Keats, the apple of her father’s eye, works with him and makes him sigh. Her artistic flair with just plain dough, can turn a cake into a rich Gateau, and a plum-duffing into a princely plum pudding.
Cake shop with the costumes
I did break my Kittybank to buy some items just to get the new Sylvanian Families calendar over at Toytown Eastwood. Okay, okay, unscrew is more like it, as my Kittybank is actually a candy jar, heehee. At the time of my purchase, there weren’t new items available yet so I settled for doubles of items I already had. I wish I waited a little, though; I would have still made it in time for the new arrivals. *Toinks.* Another lesson learned.
Sylvanian Families Calendar available only at Toytown Eastwood
Still, you’d think that with all the toys I still haven’t opened, I would no longer be drooling over new arrivals. And as much as I want to say that I am a model for a smart shopper, the truth is, when it comes to SFs, I am most definitely not. This time, however, I think I did my husband proud by not succumbing to temptation easily. (Also, I think he rather enjoyed not being nagged to come with me to the toy store.)
How did I comfort myself in this period of self-restraint, you ask? Well, I made a picture list, printed it out, and used it to calm myself down when my addicted nerves craved for more. Looking at pictures helped a lot; I simply relied on my imagination to do the rest. 
Besides, behaving has its rewards, as I soon found out. Not long after, A got me some of the items in my list. Not all, he said, because the most expensive items would have to wait for a sale, but the ones he could afford to buy, he got them for me. More happy, happy!
Racoon Family, Dormouse twins, Buttermilk Rabbit twins
Stefania plays piano, Mama Diana and ref, Father Aaron and Marco and the vegetable garden
Wedding car, high chair (one of two kinds)
I’m trying to squeeze in time during the day to play with all my toys. It’s my biggest indulgence- to find some quiet time for me- away from the boys and all the chores- and spend an hour or two with my Sylvanians. It’s not everyday I get this time, but when I do, it is a real gift.
Still, while having my ME time is a real joy, I realize that in my life, this is made possible only by friendship, sacrifice, and love. To Tanja, J, Kit, and Harriet, my deepest thanks for your friendship. And to A, who after 28 years is still my bestest friend in the whole wide world, what can I say except “I love you”?
I woke up this morning to the rustling of the sheets. It was still dark out; there was no hint of light in the sky. I felt a movement in the room, and as I tried to focus my eyes, I saw Alphonse, sitting in the darkness, making happy, little noises. He didn’t even notice me wake up.
I was expecting him to run to the light switches and open all of them in one go, or even attempt to open the bedroom door which we lock at night to keep him from wandering, but no, this time, he stayed put at the foot of our bed. And then just as suddenly, he clambered over the bed, sidled up to me, and started giving me wet, sloppy kisses, all the while still making his happy, little noises.
As his lips brushed my cheeks, he suddenly whispered, “Ayayu (I love you).” He has not spoken these words in a while so I was surprised. “I love you too, baby,” I whispered back, as tears fell down my cheeks. He gave me one last kiss and then moved to the other side of the bed, where he did the same to his dad.
Later, snuggled between his dad and me, he smiled and went back to sleep.
This is what we call Thanksgiving.
It’s Thanksgiving Day tomorrow, and while we do not observe this occasion in my country, I feel that any opportunity to be grateful, thankful, and appreciative of the blessings in our lives is always worth celebrating wherever you may be in the globe.
I’d like to share this wonderful message sent via email by my friend Melyn. I think it’s very appropriate as we reflect this weekend on the meaning of gratitude. It’s easy to focus on the negatives, especially when there is so much of it in the world today. The world seems just about ready to turn upside down with acts of unspeakable cruelties and unimaginable horrors that it is so easy to simply give up. But to be truly grateful is to constantly view life as a gift from our Creator. To be grateful is to choose to live each day as a celebration of faith, love, and grace. And to be truly grateful is to always stand for what is right.
Decide to have a good day.
‘This is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.’
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
‘The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance,but the Lord looks at the heart.’
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth,
so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
. . . for what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
‘Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good…’
. . . to the Lord.
‘I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me’.
. . . for something higher.
‘ Trust in the Lord with all your heart ,
and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.’
. . . your Prayers.
‘Do not worry about anything; instead
PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING.’
Happy 15th Birthday, Alphonse, child of our hearts.
You weren’t like other children
and God was well aware
You’d need a caring family
with love enough to share.
And so He sent you to us
and much to our surprise
you haven’t been a challenge
but a blessing in disguise.
Your winning smiles and laughter
the pleasures you impart
far outweigh your special needs
and melt the coldest heart.
We’re proud that we’ve been chosen
to help you learn and grow
the joy that you have brought us
is more than you can know.
A precious gift from Heaven
a treasure from above
a child who has taught us many things
but most of all – “Real Love”.
(author: Sharon Harris)
I had been so busy these last few days that I didn’t even notice that I had already surpassed my 200th post. (Technically, this is post # 203.) I passed the “100 posts” mark without fanfare months ago, not quite yet believing that I could actually sustain this blog. For a while back there, my posts came in slow trickles as I battled writer’s block, inertia, and the forces of real life all at once. With A’s patient encouragement, however, I found the courage to start again. Thank you, dearest A.
I am also deeply grateful to all my friends who help me vent, emote, and express my feelings and thoughts within these pages. And to the occasional reader who just happens to drop by and leaves a kind word or two — many thanks to you too. Your support makes writing so much fun.
This
was supposed to be my birthday cake. All 12 by 8 inches of soft, moist butter cake topped with a 10-inch fondant and royal icing Hello Kitty Chinese Empress in red. This was a surprise birthday cake A had especially made for me.
And this
was all that was left of Hello Kitty, ten minutes after she arrived in the house.
Alphonse, in his excitement, thought she was a doll, and before anyone could stop him, grabbed the Kitty topper and hugged her tight. I’m ashamed to admit it now, but at that moment when he lunged for the cake, I cried. I hadn’t even taken a picture of it yet, I hadn’t even blown out the birthday candles, and here it was, destroyed in seconds.
Alphonse smiled innocently at us, a little confused about my reaction, as tears fell down my face. He licked the sticky red icing off his hands, wiped the rest on his head, chewed on the fondant pieces that fell off, and walked around waving a crushed Kitty which looked more like zombie kitty than anything else.
Yes, I cried, and A comforted me. I saw the sense in his calmness and reasoning much later, after I had spent all my tears. A reminded me that nothing bad had happened, that it was only cake, and that it would still taste delicious even after a little manhandling. We were all together, that was what mattered. As usual, my A was right.
From that low point on the eve of my birthday, things got better and just took off. This is the first birthday celebration I have spent at home in the last couple of years. With rising concern about the A(H1N1) virus (we like to call it the ahini virus, heehee) and Alphonse just past a real dengue scare, we were loathe to leave the kids. We had planned a weekend with them at home, but with provisions for some alone time for the two of us. I prepped for my birthday lunch with the family the day before, cooking the spaghetti sauce ahead of time and marinading the chicken overnight in homemade barbecue sauce. The nannies helped out in the morning by grilling the chicken and cooking the pasta. It all worked out perfectly, tasted yummy too.
This is the second cake A gave me. Alphonse blew out the candles on this one and said “mama” at the end of the birthday song. I was able to record it on video and this is probably one of the best things that happened that day. It is simply amazing to hear him call my name! I get goosebumps each time he does it. Ah, I hope I never get used to it…
As usual, A and the kids loaded me with gifts that amazed, astounded, and touched me no end. A got me a complete set of pink clubs and the pinkest golf bag in the whole world! I don’t mind at all that it’s not Hello Kitty, as long as it’s pink!
I also received new Mizuno ladies’ golf shoes and pink gloves. Later, A got me two new pairs of golf slacks and long-sleeved shirts (alas! they were not pink) which I forgot to photograph in the excitement of the day.
The kids gave me the HK bag (perfect for the rainy season because it is water repellant) and A just piled me with books of all sorts, more HK MAC merch, and a new HK lunchbox! Even Kitty got a birthday surprise when A gave her a new doll suitcase to hold her Build-A-Bear clothing.
It isn’t always easy to be grateful and thankful for everything in our lives. The cake episode reminded me that. But if there’s anything I learned with the passing of the years, it is that love eases all the difficulties in our lives. I am blessed that I have A to thank for that.
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