There We Are

14 Feb

Titanic with Daniel Jack and Kitty Rose

Dearest A,

Today, I woke up with a sense of sadness hanging over me. This is the first Valentine’s Day in years that you will not be home with me. I can’t remember a time when the day didn’t mean a day off from work for you, and as mushy as it sounded, everyone understood. Valentine’s Day is our day.

On Valentine’s Day every year, we would indulge ourselves in the comforting rituals of married life. There was the occasional movie or the romantic dinner date with flowers and candlelight, but more often than not, we simply enjoyed each other at home, our feet touching gently as we recline in a pile of pillows, Alphonse often snuggled between us. We would talk and joke and sing out loud. We would read, look at pictures, play a game, or watch a movie or two together (Titanic, again?). This used to be our day. Yet, today, I am alone at home.

I’m not ungrateful, honey, just a tad wistful. Sometimes, I wish it were so that I could go for hours of a day without thinking of you, but my resolve always weakens. In the middle of a busy day, filled with the hectic hours of everyday life, I would find myself thinking of the last time we kissed or even the last time we talked beyond the superficial, mundane events of our lives. Too often these days, as we work hard to make a home and a life for our children and ourselves, there have been little, precious time to be just husband and wife, just lovers, or just best friends. We wear the constant hats of Father and Mother, and these roles, while beloved, can be all-consuming.

Today, however, while you are steep in work and I busy myself with a million and one chores at home, I will choose to live in the space of thankfulness. That today, as far apart as we are, I feel your love resonate louder and stronger, echoing through the walls of our home, and exploding through the hugs and kisses of a little boy. I will choose to remember that despite our imperfect lives, I have you to lean on, my soft spot to fall on.

And so I wait for you to come home again, on Valentine’s Day. The movie will be on when you come home. Dinner will be cooking. The bed will be warm and comfy.

And I will wait for you.
As I wait for Love.
As I wait for forever.
 

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4 Responses to “There We Are”

  1. FXSmom February 14, 2008 at 3:00 pm #

    aaahhhh

    I have a Grrrr8 Blogger Friend Award awaiting you on my site 🙂 Happy Valentine’s Day!!

    Thank you, Beth! What a great gift! You sure know how to start a week right! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! 🙂 ~♥Kittymama

  2. leirs February 16, 2008 at 2:03 pm #

    Happy Valentines Day!!!! Just wanted to tell you we are finally here in Manila

    What a great surprise! 🙂 Email me your contact numbers please, and let’s get together- for real! Kisses to baby A! ~♥Kittymama

  3. leirs February 18, 2008 at 10:15 pm #

    i already emailed you…see you soon!!!

  4. MegaMom February 19, 2008 at 3:20 pm #

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you and A! (belated)

    Hope you had a good celebration too! ~♥Kittymama

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