The One Who Got Away

19 Feb

I wrote this a few weeks before Valentine’s Day, with the intention of posting it as soon as it was finished. Somehow, the days slipped through my fingers and I forgot.

This is for you, A –  the one who stayed – for all the Valentines you and I have been together. Even through our sometimes difficult life, I have never had a single moment of regret with you.

hk-unbreak-my-heart2We often wax poetic over “the one who got away.” Memories are tricky that way. Like light that passes through a prism and breaks into a rainbow of colors, memories often pass through a sieve that breaks our remembrances and filters the past of its unpleasantness. And through these tinted lenses, we remember things a little differently, a little wistfully, perhaps, with a tinge of nostalgia and a bit of longing.

We remember the good times we lost. We romanticize the hours of pining and sweet aching. We idealize the nights of wondering about an imagined future. “The one who got away” becomes our life’s ultimate unanswered “what-if?” We think about where he (or she) could be now, what he (or she) is doing at this exact moment. Is he  thinking of you too? Do you even cross his mind? We wonder if the life we lead now is where we were meant to be. We second-guess our decisions. We live in the past.

Yet, in that rose-colored haze, we often forget that “the one who got away” is usually the one who broke your heart. The one who dumped you once, even twice. The one who cheated. The one who couldn’t commit. The one who lied.

He wasn’t perfect, that much is obvious. And so what if the timing was a little bit off?  For true hearts in love, time and space are ephemeral. You would have hocked the universe just to make your relationship work; why couldn’t he have done the same?  Timing, or the lack of it, not being emotionally prepared, not being committed —  these are all cop-outs, excuses people make up to rationalize their wanton disregard of another human being’s feelings. If he was not ready to commit, why bother to go through the whole thing? The truth is, and take it from an old hand in love, it does matter who you’re with, whether he (or she) is a jerk, a coward, or just a complete fraud. Timing’s the least of your worries.

I can’t totally promise this, but one day, “the person who will not go away” will come. This is the person who will not lie to you. Who will not make you cry. Who will not break your heart.

You and he may not be both ready but it will not matter one bit. When love comes, and I mean true love, nothing else will matter. Not your fears. Not your doubts. Not the inconsequential little things that people seem to worry so much about.

I know too that when that day comes the “what-ifs” will no longer be important. You will realize that reality is so much cooler than imagined expectations. Chuck those clouded eyeglasses for a reality check and just heave a welcome sigh of relief. Thank God, that one got away, for indeed, you are lucky.

You got away too. ♥

5 Responses to “The One Who Got Away”

  1. odette February 19, 2009 at 3:36 pm #

    i had to smile with this post. i can sooo relate now that i’m happily married to my husband. when i think of the past, i can only shudder and exclaim, “whew, that was close”. it was a blessing in disguise when “he got away” otherwise i would have missed marrying the wonderful man meant for me. ^-^

    My sentiments exactly!🙂 I think I got tired of reading those “what-if” articles that seemed to suggest that by losing “the one who got away,” we somehow just settled for the next best thing when in truth, we were so much better for it! Reminds me of the song “If She Would Have Been Faithful” by Chicago…
    “If she would have been faithful
    If she could have been true
    Then I would’ve been cheated
    I would never know real love
    I would’ve missed out on you…”
    We are lucky, lucky women, Odette! ~♥Kittymama

  2. megamomph February 19, 2009 at 9:11 pm #

    I am laughing out loud and I’m sure you would know why… We are so blessed to have ended up with our respective husbands talaga, hahaha…

  3. Manggy February 20, 2009 at 6:09 am #

    Thanks for writing this, Kittymama… It gives people like me whom love has eluded several times hope!🙂
    (and in some ways, thinking of what would have been makes me glad to be single, lol.)

  4. geri February 20, 2009 at 9:34 am #

    Hey Kitty Mama, thanks for pointing me organic repellant site. I really needed it. Much appreciated!

  5. leirs February 20, 2009 at 5:47 pm #

    Love love this entry.. was able to meet the one that I THOUGHT who got away but then I realized if he was the one then bakit pa sya umalis sa buhay ko? meaning he really wasn’t one after all

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