The inspiration came from this little keyfob Harriet noticed hanging from my camera strap.
“Oh, Kittymama, where’d you get that?’ she asked.
It was a gift from a friend, I told Harriet. I had no idea where she got it, or even if it was a genuine Sylvanian item. But it was cute and I loved it.
Over a series of text messages sent back and forth, I was seized with this idea of using babies as keychains. They were small and discreet, not too chunky or heavy, and in truth, they were the cutest of the Sylvanian Families characters. “Mind you, it would require some form of “torture” to screw those little thingies on them, ” I reminded Harriet. We had to think long and hard. Were we ready to hurt the ones we love?
At that point, however, I wasn’t quite ready to commit myself to any form of Sylvanian torture. That night, I searched the web for SF keychains and lo and behold, I found out my idea wasn’t too farfetched at all. They were using babies as sacrificial keychains! Gasp!
Not only that, their prices made me hyperventilate. They were really cute, but twelve dollars for a thingy to hang with my keys? Double Gasp!
That settled it. Operation Bionic Sylvanian was born. As the opening sequence of The Six Million Dollar Man played in my head (“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first bionic … ehr… Sylvanian baby.” ), I set upon this course of action resolutely. The following is a photographic documentation of this Bionic experimentation on Sylvanian Families babies.
Warning: Not for the faint of heart or for die-hard Sylvanian lovers.
Surgical intruments include forceps and metal file with pointed edge, although any pointy thing can be used. Implants consist of metal hook screw and short lengths of ballchain.
Assessing the condition of the patient, Kittymama gives the patient a complete physical examination. No fur rubs. No damaged limbs. Tail intact and complete. Verry good.
Patient receives a mild anesthetic and twilight sedation (aka lots of kisses) and prepped for surgery. The location of the implant is determined using precise measurements of head size, calculations for circumference and total surface area, as well as post-operative aesthetic considerations.
The hook screw implant is slowly inserted into the vertex of the patient’s cranium and turned tightly, using short clockwise movements to prevent making a larger burr hole than necessary. The ballchain is then added to the loop of the hookscrew.
Post-op, the patient was in great condition, and perfect for hanging about Kittymama’s camera strap.
Disclaimer: No Sylvanian was harmed in the making of this post. They’re plastic!