Alphonse started eating again last night- finally! It was the honey spareribs and pandan rice that broke through his wall of resistance and for the first time since Saturday, he managed to eat more than two tablespoons of food. His stomach must have been so unused to having food again that more than once, he had to fight the urge to throw up. Fortunately, he kept it all down anyway.
This morning, he ate most of the breakfast the hospital provided, except for the porridge which earned much of his early morning ire and almost ended up as art on the walls.
It’s still hard to put a smile on his face. Each day, he goes to bed angry, frustrated, and in tears. The meltdowns come one after another. He has severe issues with his IV line, he wants to go home, he hates being left behind when his dad and big brother leave in the evenings, he hates being forced to eat- almost everything and anything can reduce him to tears. It breaks my heart to see him like this, but I can do little except to reassure him that Mama is always with him.
His body and extremities are now covered in areas of bright red rash. More worrisome, there was fresh blood in his nose when he woke up this morning. It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to send me scurrying in panic. I can’t seem to hold my head together these days as I am also in a constant state of alertness. It’s tiring and it wears me out, but right now, survival mode is all that’s keeping me going.
I’m waiting for the blood test results to come in this morning. I hope it brings us some good news.