Top Ten Silliest Answers

8 Dec

A wheelchair, an IVAC pump, and PECS cards and he's all set for the day!

The first time it happened, we almost laughed out loud, had it not been for the man’s obvious sincerity and sympathy. Alphonse, as usual, was roaming the halls in his borrowed wheelchair, his nannies pushing him along.  They were on their way back to the room when a man, who was walking alongside Alphonse, asked, “Was he in an accident? Poor boy… and he’s so handsome too…”

The nannies explained that Alphonse tended to pull his IVs out so his hands had to be covered. They also launched into a short autism spiel that explained why Alphonse hated his IVs.

The man smiled, patted Alphonse gently on the head, wished him well, and walked away.

Over the course of the next few days, the same thing happened over and over again. Everyone we met along the second floor hallways had the same questions for us: “What happened to his hands? Are those stumps?” We had to give the answers repeatedly to the point that all of us had our lines down pat and memorized.

Inside our hospital room, however, to break the monotony of those long hours, we liked to imagine silly answers to those often asked questions.  Of course, we never did use them, but they kept us occupied for at least a few hours and gave us a few silly grins when we needed them most.

So here are our top ten silliest answers to the “What happened to Alphonse’s hands?” question:

10- He just had a manicure and we’d hate to have the nail polish scuffed.

9- Oh, those? Those are aromatherapy hand wraps.

8- We’re trying to stop him from biting his nails.

7- Hand wraps are the coolest things since Manny Pacquiao.

6- He just pummelled Antonio Margarito in a boxing match.

5 –A car ran over them.

4- He just came back from Mt. Everest where he suffered from severe frostbite.

3- He went deep-sea diving and a shark bit them off.

2- His hands were caught in the elevator and were accidentally amputated.

And the number one silliest answer we could think of  is …

1- He ate them! (This comes from watching too many zombie movies, heehee.)

Can you think of some more?


Just had to put these absolutely wonderful suggestions from Robin, an old high school friend: 

  •  They had to be reattached after a freak scrabble accident
  • Preparing for the lead role in the Philippine production of Edward Scissorhands.

Don’t you just love his imagination? Thanks, Robin!


4 Responses to “Top Ten Silliest Answers”

  1. bbqweasel December 8, 2010 at 8:51 pm #

    Haha, I would love to see the faces if you had used any of them! And welcome home Alphonse 🙂

    • Kittymama December 12, 2010 at 1:09 pm #

      I think they’d take it seriously, haha. And thanks for the welcome; Alphonse sure missed his home. 🙂

  2. Acton December 11, 2010 at 4:59 am #

    What you should have done was to take a marker and draw eyes and a mouth and turn them into sock puppets. (If it does not disturb Alphonse )

    • Kittymama December 12, 2010 at 1:10 pm #

      That would have been nice…

      And we could have said, “He’s practicing for Sesame Street” or something like that. 🙂

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