living the Gratitude Attitude,
even when it is sometimes difficult.
I admit it, despite my cheery and self- deprecating bluster, sometimes, even I find it hard to always be happy and grateful. Some days, I wake up already feeling overwhelmed by the day that lies ahead. There’s always one or more nagging worries running around through my head, and they can be crippling, these worries that seize me and keep me awake at night.
For the most part, there’s always a simmering anxiety about Alphonse. Even on really good days, which now number more than the bad, it isn’t easy to live without fear of the recent past returning. It gets even worse during bad days. In the past week, Alphonse was irritable and prone to meltdowns again. My anxieties mounted in the middle of Alphonse’s own fragile state. (Please pray for him, my friends.)
Still, it was A♥’s absence for an extended period of time last week that proved to be the tipping point. With my emotions all over the place, I gave in to my feelings of despair and longing and showed my broken heart for all to see. Somewhere in that episode of unusual lack of restraint, however, I realized something- that Thomas Fuller was right when he wrote that “no man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend until he is unhappy.” In those brief moments of unhappiness, I learned who my friends were. Thank you to all those who asked after me, who reassured me with their constant friendship.
One bright sunshine in those gloomy days came in the form of a precious gift from a new friend. Sometimes, in the middle of my tears, I would look at it and be forced to smile and be thankful as I reflected on the hands that made the gift with love and care and the hearts that gave willingly, without expectation of reciprocity. My grateful thanks to my friend Cynthia and her mom, Tita Zeny, always.
I will always be grateful for my friends, for their presence in my sometimes turbulent life. I will always be grateful for the Love that sustains me and my family, even when times are tough. And I will always look into my life with an attitude that takes nothing for granted. There is so much to be thankful for. Despite the dark, stormy clouds, the sun always comes out in the end.